26 May 2013

My Melancholy: Dad, stop hitting mum!

Hello Friends,

I have started a new section in my blog called as "My Melancholy" where i would be discussing/posting about things which are more important than a perfect eyeliner application or clean cuticles.  

My first post in this section is going to be about my very first (bad) experience which made me feel like an useless piece of ****. Domestic Violence. 


We all know that some of us women are treated badly at many places across the globe. We are still, even at this so called modern society, expected to endure all these social evils. It is really saddening to note that, some of the men who subject the ladies to all these are highly educated.

I live in an apartment complex. In my floor we all are like a mini family. We help each other, celebrate (all) festivals together, treat each other as a guinea pig for testing the delicacies we tried for the first time and it was all so good. Suddenly, we heard screams from our opposite flat which housed a beautiful family of three. The lady and her husband were professionals and their kid was in primary school. The screams slowly became a regular phenomenon with the maids gossiping that the man used to slap his wife, they have some family problem etc. In the afternoon, their flat door was left open, the man was slapping the lady, who and her little kid were screaming and asking the man to stop. It was happening right in front of my eyes in their living room. I was stupefied for a minute. I have never seen an adult woman getting slapped by a guy in my entire life. I have seen it in the movies but this was so horrifying. My other neighbor came out after listening to the shrieks and was equally stupefied. I ran inside my home. I was too scared to speak. But the other neighbor asked the man to stop abusing the woman. To every one’s surprise the woman who was getting slapped pleaded to keep away from her “family” issue.

Is domestic abuse a family issue? I was appalled by the fact that both of them are highly qualified professionals. Like how low can the man can stoop? Why are women like her subjecting themselves to such an abuse? Obviously there is no love in this relationship. No true love will stoop to the extent of slapping and abusing a life partner.

Now my another bothering thought is, what example does the woman and her abusive husband give to their son? Is it okay to get slapped by the husband? Or it is an undisclosed condition that the lady is expected to follow when she gets married? I heard that even the parents of the girl advise her to adjust with her husband so that her family’s name doesn't get spoiled in the society. Aren't men equally responsible for the so called “family” name?

I don’t know what to say but according to me, a sensible woman would rather desire to be alive and single than be abused with a “sumankali” title accompanied by lots of ashirvaad’s from the society.


Ladies, please say no to domestic violence. By saying so, you are not just helping yourself but you are helping the society as a whole.

Have you ever come across such a situation? What would be your advice to such women who in spite of their education and career “still” continue to endure such abuses?

I came across this article by reuters.com. Do take a look at it as it projects the ugly face of the so called educated society.

Love,
Raji



Source of image 2: sheshachaturvedi.blogspot.com

22 comments:

  1. Very gud start...
    Even I've this experience :(
    Hav no words 2 say...

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    1. oh gayatri.. i am sorry for you.. hope ur life s smooth now.

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  2. wat a fab post..very well written

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  3. Heads up for this post Rajalakshmi.. no words. I strongly agree with you .

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  4. Hi raji, to be honest, it's not only the physical abuse women have to endure in married life. Many women go through emotional abuses which are even more hurting that physical ones. In our society women are supposed to endure these things because we give examples of Sati and Savitri as the epitome of Bharatiya Nari. I strongly scorn this type of upbringing in girls!

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    1. exactly nisha. My parents brought me up saying that no one has got the right to hurt me which is true. As a woman, as a human we must stand up to this and if we have a girl we must bring her up as a strong little woman and if we have a boy we must teach or inculcate the habit of respecting woman.

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  5. It is a great post... I totally agree with you that women should stand up for them in such situations...

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  6. This sounds like a story from movie... But it can actually take place in our country.. such horrifying incidence & we call our-self to be sophisticated.. :(
    Depressing to know we still have such dominating people in our society.
    Great post dear.. but sad to know such thing :(

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    1. it looked more horrifying vipra.. especially when you know the family personally.

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  7. Women who stay with a man who has hit them - even once - are wrong to do so and are accomplices. So many put up with it because they're scared of what society will say if they leave the man! As if that's important! My parents have made me promise that the moment a man raises his hand, I would go to the nearest women's commission office/police station, and never go near that man again. He may promise never to do so again, but my mum says, once a monster always a monster, and it's only fear of the woman leaving or telling people that deters him from doing it again.

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    1. Exactly renu.. once a monster is always a monster.. Such men have the tendency to beg, apologize and do everything to make the woman believe that he repents his behavior. But at the end he will continue to abuse and she will continue to endure..

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  8. well written.. and this is the state of mind that needs to be changed. people cannot ask women to keep quite.. What if as women slaps a man.. will the society be as quite as the man abusing the women?? girls need to be strong.. in this case.. even the lady was supportive of what the man was doing.. cos she asked the people to stay of the issue. But this will surely bring in a very bad attitude for the kid!!

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    1. yes Sahi.. Mentality of us women must change..

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  9. The last time a man, my ex, tried to man handle me I returned the favour. I left him bruised and walked away with my head held high. My friends were shocked by my "manly" behaviour. Agree with you, even if one stands up for oneself, society doesn't allow them to do they.

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    1. very good veda. I applaud your behavior.. we r not being pampered by our fathers to get hit by a so called life partner..

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  10. wow nice post raji...eye opening thought..nice initiative from ur blog ..great article... new look to ur blog?? looks pretty...

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    1. Thank u bharathi... new look illa.. i am still experimenting with d looks..

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  11. Really nicely written Raji! Seriously! Domestic Violence needs to STOP!!!

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